When a relationship ends, one of the most important, and often most difficult, questions parents face is how their children will divide their time between two homes. There is no single “right” answer. The arrangement that suits one family may be unworkable for another, because every family brings its own history, circumstances, working patterns and, most importantly, its own children with their own needs.
At Owen Hodge Lawyers, we help parents move through separation in a way that keeps the focus where it belongs: on the wellbeing of the children. This article sets out a range of common time-sharing options for school-aged children, along with the practical considerations that tend to make each one work well or not so well.
These options are best thought of as a menu rather than a set of rules. They draw on decades of family-mediation research (including the widely cited work of clinical psychologist Dr Joan B. Kelly on children and separation) into how children of different ages and temperaments cope with moving between households.
A Note on Australian Family Law Terminology
Australian family law no longer uses the words “custody” and “access.” Under the Family Law Act 1975 (Cth), we instead talk about parental responsibility (decision-making about major long-term issues) and the practical question of who a child lives with and spends time with.
The guiding principle in every parenting matter is the best interests of the child. Following amendments to the Family Law Act that commenced in May 2024, there is no automatic starting point of equal (50/50) shared time. The Court looks at each family individually and asks what arrangement best promotes the child’s safety, wellbeing and development. Equal or substantial shared time may be appropriate for some families and not for others.
How Parenting Arrangements Are Formalised
Parents can put a time-sharing arrangement in place in several ways:
- Informal agreement: A private understanding between parents. Flexible, but not legally enforceable.
- A parenting plan:A written plan for moving forward. It records what the parents have agreed and is a useful reference point and guide, but it is not a legally binding and enforceable order.
- Consent orders:A legal document approved by the Court that ensures certainty around the parenting arrangements agreed between the parties. These are legally binding and enforceable, without the parents having to attend a contested hearing
- Court orders after a hearing: Where parents cannot agree, the Court decides and binds the parents to comply with those orders.
In most cases, parents are required to make a genuine effort to resolve their dispute through Family Dispute Resolution (FDR) before applying to the Court, unless an exception applies (for example, in matters involving family violence or urgency).
Factors That Shape the Right Schedule
Before looking at specific schedules, it helps to weigh up the factors that make a real difference in practice:
- The child’s age and developmental stage. Younger children generally cope less well with long separations from either parent, while many older children and teenagers can manage longer blocks of time.
- Temperament and any additional needs. A child who thrives on routine, or who has a learning difficulty or finds transitions stressful, may do better with fewer changeovers.
- The distance between homes and the school. Frequent midweek changeovers only work if both homes are within a reasonable distance of the child’s school and activities.
- Each parent’s work and availability. Early starts, shift work or travel can rule some options in or out.
- The level of conflict between parents. Where conflict is high, arrangements that hand children over at school or another neutral point (rather than at the doorstep) can protect children from witnessing tension.
- The existing relationship and caregiving history. Arrangements that maintain and strengthen each child’s bond with both parents tend to serve children best.
- Siblings, extracurricular commitments and social life, especially as children get older.
A practical tip for families with two active homes: children settle far more easily when they have clothing, school gear and their own belongings at both houses, so that moving between homes feels less like packing for a trip and more like coming home.
Common Time-Sharing Options for School-Aged Children
The options below run roughly from the least to the greatest amount of shared time. To make comparison easier, each shows the approximate number of nights the child spends with the “second” parent over a four-week cycle.
1. Alternate weekends
Friday evening to Sunday evening, every second weekend (about 4 nights in 28).
A traditional arrangement in which the child spends every other weekend with the second parent. Its simplicity is appealing, but it creates gaps of nearly two weeks between visits. For many children this is a long time, and it can limit the second parent’s involvement in day-to-day life, homework and school events. It also gives the primary parent little regular respite. It can nonetheless suit families where the second parent has limited availability, or as a transitional arrangement in the early stages of separation.
2. Alternate weekends plus a midweek visit
As above, plus a few hours midweek (for example, Wednesday evening).
Adding a short midweek visit shortens the gap between contact to about a week and gives the second parent more regular connection with the child. The downside is that an evening-only visit can feel rushed, with little time to settle in or supervise homework, and the extra changeover can be a flashpoint if conflict is high. It can work well where the second parent’s schedule does not allow a midweek overnight.
3. Alternate extended weekends
Friday evening to Monday morning, every second weekend (about 6 nights in 28).
Extending the weekend to include Sunday night and a Monday-morning school drop-off gives the second parent a fuller, more relaxed block of time and removes a changeover. Handing the child straight to school on Monday also avoids a face-to-face handover between parents. This option is generally not practical if the second parent lives too far from the child’s school.
4. Alternate weekends plus a midweek overnight
Alternate weekends, plus one midweek overnight (for example, Wednesday to Thursday morning) — about 8 nights in 28.
Adding a midweek overnight reduces the longest separation to around six days and lets the second parent share in bedtime and morning routines and supervise schoolwork. Because the child goes to school after the overnight, parents avoid a direct handover. It also gives the primary parent a predictable break each week.
5. Alternate extended weekends plus a midweek overnight
A longer weekend combined with a midweek overnight — about 10 nights in 28.
This builds on option 4 with an extended weekend, giving the second parent even more involvement in schoolwork and activities. School drop-offs and pick-ups continue to reduce the need for the parents to meet face to face at changeovers.
6. The “2-2-5-5” arrangement (alternating extended weekends with split midweeks)
A pattern of two days, two days and two five-day blocks — about 14 nights in 28 (equal time).
Under this equal-time arrangement, each parent has a consistent set of midweek days plus alternating weekends, so the longest separation is around five days. Both parents share fully in schoolwork, activities and downtime, and both get predictable time to themselves. Changeovers can happen at school. Many children aged around six or older find this pattern comfortable, though it involves more transitions and may not suit a child who finds frequent change unsettling.
7. Split weekends and split midweeks
Weekends divided and swapped, with assigned midweek days — about 14 nights in 28 (equal time).
This equal-time option keeps the longest separation to around three days but involves the most frequent changeovers. Because separations are short, it can suit younger children, and it is sometimes used as an interim arrangement until children are a little older and ready for longer blocks.
8. Week about (week-on / week-off)
One full week with each parent in turn — about 14 nights in 28 (equal time).
The child alternates whole weeks between homes. With only one changeover a week, it is one of the simplest equal-time arrangements and lets everyone settle into a steady routine. The trade-off is a seven-day separation from each parent, which can be difficult for children under about six or seven. It can also complicate lessons, activities and other commitments that need coordinating across two homes. Many older children and teenagers, however, prefer the stability of longer blocks.
A practical tip: changing homes on a Friday after school often works better than the traditional Monday changeover. It lets children “wind down” into the new week rather than “gear up” for school on the very day they move.
Choosing What’s Right for Your Family
The best arrangement is rarely the one that looks fairest on paper, it is the one that genuinely works for your children and is realistic for both parents to sustain week after week. It is also worth remembering that arrangements are not set in stone. What suits a seven-year-old may need revisiting when they reach high school, and good parenting plans often build in a mechanism for review as children grow.
How Owen Hodge Lawyers Can Help
Working out the right parenting arrangement is as much a practical and emotional exercise as a legal one. Our experienced family law team can help you:
- understand your rights and responsibilities under the Family Law Act 1975;
- reach a workable agreement through negotiation or family dispute resolution;
- record your agreement in a parenting plan or formalise it through consent orders; and
- if an agreement cannot be reached, represent you in Court proceedings with your children’s best interests at the centre.
If you are separating and need guidance on parenting arrangements, contact Owen Hodge Lawyers to arrange a confidential discussion with one of our family law specialists.
This article provides general information only and is not legal advice. Family law is complex and constantly evolving, and the right approach depends on your individual circumstances. Please obtain advice tailored to your situation before making decisions about parenting arrangements.